LOOK MA! THEY HATE ME!
Lately I’ve been doing a lot of screaming about how ridiculously awesome my life is and, in particular, how ridiculously awesome my new book is doing (which, incidentally, just went into its FOURTH FREAKING PRINTING HOLY CRAP I AM ON THE FLOOR OVER HERE!)
Today, however, I’m going to turn that smile upside down and share some of my hate mail with you. Hate is such a nasty word actually, let’s call it my “not getting on the Jen party train anytime soon” mail.
While I honestly spend little very time focusing on this stuff (aka, delete it, instantly), I wanted to share a couple choice pieces with you, not for any complainy or woe-is-me type reasons, but rather because:
1.) Fear of rejection is one of the main reasons people don’t go after the things they want in life. I’m sharing my personal rejections with you in hopes it will help you free yourself if you’re letting the fear of rejection stop you.
It’s like when I bought my first-ever brand new car and was all precious and uptight about getting the teeniest tiniest little scratch on it. My friend Marie told me she was going to come over and back into it, just a smidge on the bumper, so I could get on with my life and focus on other things. This is my attempt to back into your protective shield around being called out and ding it, just a smidge.
2.) Some of the nasty stuff people write in makes me uncomfortable (because I fear they’re right), some of it shocks me, some of it totally cracks me up, all of which makes for good reading, IMHO.
3.) OMG, the stuff people SAY! Right to your face! Just because you wrote something – it’s not like I went over to their mother’s house and punched her in the face fer fek’s sake! Anyway, are you ready to take a stroll down Crotchety Lane? Check these out:
• About my first book:
“I would give this zero stars if I could. Awful. Probably the worst read ever. Sale pile!”
• About my second book:
“The book you wrote is ridiculous and terrible. I hope some day you find the shame in what you’ve done. Your life will be nothing but pain and heartache if you keep living it this way.”
• About my newsletters:
“Too many self-serving emails. You may think they are motivational but to me they are narcissistic and not particularly helpful.”
• Another about my newsletters:
“Stop sending me emails you stupid fucking whore!!”
If you decide to go for it, to do your thing, to be visible as the you that is you, it’s not a matter of if you’ll get emails such as these, it’s a matter of when.
Accept it and get on with your life. And remember:
Your job on this Earth is not to make everyone like you.
Your job is to let yourself be exactly who you are regardless of what anyone else thinks.
In closing, I’d like to quote my latest book that someone is no doubt writing a review of this very moment, alerting the masses to how much it sucks:
The trick is to not only deny the criticism any power over you, but, even more challenging, to not get caught up in the praise. There’s nothing wrong with blushingly accepting a compliment, but if you find yourself always seeking outisde approval that you’re good enough or talented enough or worthy enough, you’re screwed. Because if you base your self-worth on what everyone else thinks of you, you hand all your power over to other people and become dependent on a source outside yourself for validation. Then you wind up chasing after something you have no control over, and should that something suddenly place its focus somewhere else, or change its mind and decide you’re no longer very interesting, you end up with a full-blown identity crisis.
Hi I’m Catherine, founder of Wine Women And Chocolate. Want to become a contributor for Wine, Women & Chocolate? Interested in sharing your unique perspective to a group of supportive, like-minded women? 