Every day I do something again for the first time. I RE-discover, RE-examine, RE-new, RE-invent, RE-focus, RE-claim, RE-kindle, RE-awaken to the idea that nothing is permanent and everything can be RE-imagined, RE-negotiated and RE-vived.

 

There is so much power and energy in the “RE.” You don’t have to just accept the reality of where you are. You can always change it, and it will always change you. It has often been said that the only constant is change. Well, bring it on. I welcome the opportunity to RE-discover. And to RE-member.

My first step in living the “RE” life was to RE-unite.

A few months ago I went to get a manicure in a lovely nail spa. As we often do in those situations, I started listening to a conversation going on a couple of chairs away from me. A woman about my age was talking to the manicurist who commented that she had just been in and wondered why she came back so soon. “That wasn’t me,” she said. “That was my twin sister.” That little comment got me thinking back to my first days in college when I met the roommate I was assigned to. Her name was Lee Herrick and she was a great girl. Warm, open, smart and easy to be with. As soon as I met her I knew we would be good friends and get along just fine. She left the dorm room and came back a few minutes later and I picked up our conversation where we had left it, discussing bedspread choices and dorm food. She looked at me like she had no idea what I was talking about. Then she laughed and revealed that she wasn’t, in fact, Lee. She was her twin sister, Carol.

 

I loved having an identical twin as a roommate. My year with Lee was terrific. Easy, fun and fattening. But a wonderful launching pad to adulthood. As I sat in the nail spa and pondered that relationship, I was newly infused with the energy to hunt her down. I had tried Facebook, but she wasn’t there, or if she was, she was using a different name. I had gone online and poked around a bit, hadn’t found anything, but I was RE-ignited with the energy to actually find her. There was something about RE-connecting to that part of my life that seemed timely and I wanted to follow it.

On the web I found a Lee Herrick who was an artist, could that be her? Maybe. But I found that it was an Asian, male. Not my girl. And then there was an accountant. I knew that she would never have chosen to be a CPA, she hated math and was far more creative than any CPA I’d ever known. However there was a Lee Herrick who ran a non-profit for writers. Inprint House. And was located in Houston, which made sense because we were from Texas. So I sent a note to email address listed.

“Hi Lee. I’m looking for a Lee Herrick who went to the University of Texas and had a twin sister named Carol. Is that you?”

A day later I checked my inbox and there was a response. “Well, you certainly know how to make my day! Wow. I’ve thought about you so often and have even dreamt that I saw you. What a joy! Yes! It’s me.”

 

And so began our friendship RE-boot. We made a date to talk on the phone. Each with a glass of wine and 40 years to catch up on, this was our first conversation.

After saying hello, and marveling at the time that had passed, without much hesitation, we each launched. The highlights were that we had both ended our marriages. (She couldn’t get over the fact that I had married my college boyfriend, Bob, some 20 years after college. She remembered him vividly and how impactful that relationship was on me.) Her marriage ended after 25 years just because they grew apart. She had moved out of “the big house” and had found solace in her meditation group, We had both traveled the spiritual path and had evolved in similar ways. It sounded to me like we were both brave and strong and were RE-igniting our lives.

 

“But I have to this out of the way,” she said, sounding like she needed me to prepare. “Carol died in August after a 10 year battle with cancer.”

Whoa. I could say that I didn’t see that coming, but, in truth, when I wrote her the first inquiry, I had a thought. “What if Carol is no longer with us?” I could not have known that, but when she revealed what had happened, I was not surprised. Our higher selves give us information all the time if we just pay attention.

What that must have been like for her, to lose an identical twin. Such a profound loss. “I’m okay,” she protested. “It was such a long, hard journey for us and I was ready for it. I’m grateful that she is out of pain. And after a decade of caretaking, I’m now taking care of myself. I think that that her passing was her gift to me. She gave me the permission to fully be present in my life and to be free.”

I told her that Bob was also no longer here. Yes, we are all stepping into the time when we will be witnessing the transitions of people we love. Time to RE-new this friendship and appreciate this gift that we’ve been given in our RE-connection.

We made a plan. I booked a trip to Houston to see Lee and to see my sister who also lives there. It was a long weekend with no other purpose than to feed my spirit.

Lee picked me up at the airport and we both marveled at how good we looked and both admitted to having had a little “help.” It immediately felt like there were no secrets. We could talk about anything and were on the same page with everything we discussed. Here she was a Liberal/ Progressive in Texas, a rare bird. We ate, drank, shopped and gave each other gifts. I brought her a beautiful Minda Burr necklace with a Buddha and stunning beads. She bought me a perfect sweater on our shopping spree and a sleep shirt that says “Sleep Less, Dream More.” For two and a half glorious days we never stopped talking, except for a meditation. As we RE-connected, we both knew this was only the beginning of this RE-kindling.

 

It was clear that the timing of this was perfect. She had lost her sister, but we were RE-establishing our own sisterhood. And so it RE-news. We knew that as we said good-bye it would only be for a little while.

 

On arriving home I checked my emails:

Lee:

Home…safe and sound?  Makes you love your life, doesn’t it?  I’m still “recovering” our fabulous 3 days–and finding the perfect spot for every little thing (my BEAUTIFUL new jewels, incredible memories, new scarves, photos of us to love)…but mainly, mainly those pieces of myself that I had almost forgotten about that came clamboring from God-knows-where to throw themselves around your neck.  Miraculously, I think we BOTH have more of ourselves because we have each other in our lives again.  What exactly happened here??? Maybe we will never know, but I can tell you, it was an astonishing 3 days for me–and to come out on the other side knowing that Life, for SURE, knows what it’s doing…is a miracle.

Love love this morning back in your life…I know the only creatures happier than you and I are Steven, Katie, and Sophie to have you back home. 🙂 🙂 🙂

 

Lee

My response:

Abby Hoffman summed it up. We had ourselves a time.

Travels were safe and uneventful. The flight gave me time to RE-flect and I am so aware that this was such a perfect RE-boot, RE-connection, RE-newal. Wow.

Yes, it was as meaningful for me as it was for you. It was indeed a fast and potent three days. The amuse-bouche was perfect and now let’s start enjoying the rest of the friendship/sisterhood feast. Just wonderful.

I am sitting here in a cloud. Fog has surrounded the house and it is dreamy. I can’t see anything but the trees right in front of the window. LA has disappeared.

Must jump in the shower, but not before telling you how happy I am that we are BACK!

______________________________________________________________________

 

The next weeks I thought about this wonderful trip and stayed in touch with my old friend. We will RE-connect next weekend when I pick her up at the airport for a couple of days in L.A. RE-united. And, yes, it feels so good.