By Rebecca Forstadt-Olkowsk
I don’t know about you but even though I’m almost 60 I still feel young at heart. When I think about my own mother at my age, I always saw her as someone who was “over the hill.” She let her hair go gray in her 50’s. Even though she had twins at the age of 41, I could never imagine her being sexual or sexy. She had 6 kids, was married 3 times and is now 88. She must have had sex at least a few times, right? I guess that’s just how most people see our parents, at least until we are “over the hill” ourselves.
Our feelings about our body image are often emotionally devastating, especially when we look in the mirror in a store dressing room, with horrid lighting, and exclaim “Who is that funky looking other woman standing there half naked in front of me.” That can’t possibly be me, right?” AHHHHHHHHCK!
Belly overhang, age spots, weird facial hairs resembling a moustache, flabby arms, cracked heels, skin tags, UCK!
It’s not always pretty. We say to ourselves, “How could anyone ever find me attractive again?
Then we go on the bandwagon trying to get ourselves back into shape, and even risk our health to do it. We work out. We cleanse. We fast. We stress out. We hide our bodies and slip into one of Omar the tent maker’s tent dresses.
Or, we go into denial and rationalize that “Being a super grandma is good enough for me and my days of having wild sex or getting whistled at are definitely over.”
It’s difficult to love our bodies when we see Jane Fonda looking hot in her 70’s or Helen Hunt taking it all off as a sex therapist and looking like she did in her 20’s. Stars can afford plastic surgery, personal trainers and other such luxuries. Most of us would rather put that money toward being able to merely survive if we live to be 100.
It’s easy to say, “You’re beautiful on the inside and who cares what the outside looks like?” However, it’s hard to justify when we jump on the scale and want to SCREAM!
I think it’s especially hard for female Baby Boomers who grew up during a time when we let it all hang out, wore sexy mini-skirts and didn’t trust anyone over 30.
The good news is:
Even though we will never be 25 again, we are still able to take good care of ourselves and have fun for a very long time as long as we have the right attitude. There is no reason why we can’t have passionate romantic relationships, love our bodies and experience life to the fullest.
- Attitude is everything and even though we may have experienced major life challenges such as death, sickness, financial troubles, relationship issues, etc., it’s how we react to those difficulties that count.
- It starts with being good to yourself.
- Be respectful of yourself and your body.
- Feed yourself nourishing and enjoyable foods to stay healthy and strong. Fresh vegetables, fruits, lean meats, fish, whole grains, and plenty of spring or filtered water. Stay clear of processed, packaged, or other junk foods and drinks.
- Move your body everyday in a way that you enjoy. Walking in nature is one of the best exercises, but if you have knee, hip, or other physical disabilities, swim or stretch.
- Be passionate about who and what you love. Nurture your relationships, activities that give you pleasure, and always keep on learning.
- Pamper and pleasure yourself. Don’t feel guilty about taking time to nurture YOU. Treat yourself to a massage, have a pedicure, buy yourself something nice, take yourself on a trip. If you aren’t in a committed and sexually active relationship, enjoy having sex with yourself. Why not? You deserve to have pleasure.
- Don’t let toxic people kill your self esteem. If someone is putting you down, has substance issues, is abusive, either get rid of them or ignore them and make it your number one priority to work toward your own happiness. If necessary get help from an outside source whether it’s a support group, psychiatrist, hypnotherapist, or spiritual leader. Events that may have happened in the past (in childhood) do not have to be played out in the present and can be overcome.
- Visualize in your mind’s eye of what you want your ultimate lifestyle to be and how you want to see yourself in terms of health, beauty and vitality. Imagine yourself in the present rather than thinking about how you would like it to be. What does your hair look like? How does your body look? What are you wearing? What kind of lifestyle are you living? Who are you in a relationship with? See as many details as you possibly can. Do this for at least 10 minutes every day and you will start to see changes in not only your looks and health, but also in your entire mental attitude.
- Only buy clothes and accessories that make you feel wonderful about yourself. Be crazy and bold. Don’t limit yourself to stretch pants and figure disguising smocks.
- Love yourself. You may not be perfect or look like a twenty year old anymore, but you are beautiful, sexy and amazing.
- About Rebecca
First of all, I have a long name. It’s sort of something you get stuck with when …
- You’re a woman
- You’ve re-invented yourself several times.
I was born in Denver, Colorado in 1953. I don’t remember much about Denver because we only lived there until I was 3 years old. My dad was a salesman, who secretly wished he was an actor. His mother headlined in vaudeville. He did little theater in Dallas after WWII and played leading roles with another struggling a poor theater buff named Aaron Spelling. Aaron became a billionaire and my dad didn’t.
- Learn more http://www.babyboomster.com/about/
Hi I’m Catherine, founder of Wine Women And Chocolate. Want to become a contributor for Wine, Women & Chocolate? Interested in sharing your unique perspective to a group of supportive, like-minded women? 